Located on Halenseestrasse 32-36, you will find a towering white building that looks like a cross between a storage warehouse and a communist hotel. This is Club Artemis Berlin; one of the most famous brothels in the world.
You certainly wouldn’t link it to the beating heart of Germany’s sex industry if you had never ventured inside. But once you do, something incredible happens.
The industrial sprawl of Charlottenburg disappears and we travel back 40 years to the 1970s.
Spiegel once memorably described the Artemis Berlin interior as a bizarre cross “between mid-re 1990s Las Vegas and a cheesy British ‘Carry-On’ film”.
Boy, were they on the money!
What’s Inside Artemis Berlin?
The Artemis FKK Club is set across four floors and littered with ornate statues of the Greek and Roman variety. The walls are garish, in-your-face and covered in decals that time forgot.
You could describe the place as lavish, in the same way that some clubs make for nice scenery… for a few hours — not for living in for the rest of your life.
Of course, there are many women who do call Artemis Berlin a second home.
Many of the sex workers in Artemis are not actually from Berlin, or Germany for that matter. There is a strong presence from Russia, Ukraine, Hungary, Poland and the Czech Republic.
Upstairs from the main brothel you will find over 40 rooms that the prostitutes can use to rest in overnight. Many of them come from out of town. Others are playing a long-stay game of earning enough in the day to cover the ‘rent’ of crashing in Artemis.
“A woman will have some kind of sex with maybe five, seven, three men a night, whatever they please”, according to the FKK club’s Geschäftsführer. That’s German for Mr. Manager.
While Artemis is a brothel, it doesn’t accept the classic house payments that you would associate with this type of adult facility. Instead it is modelled on a day spa.
Everybody pays to access the facilities.
But only the escorts stand a chance of leaving the place richer.
Note for our international readers: It’s in German. Sorry but there are no subtitles.
The Club Artemis Price List
If you want a day pass at the Artemis Brothel, you must pay the entrance fee of €80.
Note: Sundays and Mondays are half-price for seniors.
This entrance fee applies both to clients, escorts and anybody who wants to use the facilities.
How much does sex cost at Artemis?
Here’s what you can expect:
- Full sex and room: €60 for 30 mins
- CIM (cum in mouth) extra: €50
- Anal sex extra: €100
So, while it’s possible to enjoy 30 minutes of sex with a Euro beauty for just €60, that quickly rises to €210 if you throw in some anal pleasure and CIM.
On top of the €80 entrance fee.
Still, that’s pretty reasonable.
It’s roughly on par with what you’d expect to pay at the top brothels in Australia and New Zealand, where prostitution is also legalised and regulated. Albeit nowhere near as cheap as Amsterdam’s ‘factory-line’ service (€50 for 15 mins).
The main difference with Artemis Berlin, and other popular German FKK clubs (as well as Berlin’s many brothels), is that you are paying for an entire day experience as part of admission.
Most punters who frequent Artemis stay for more than one round of sex. In fact, they will often stay for several hours.
It is considered the adult entertainment variety of a spa retreat.
You get laid, relax, unwind, grab a drink at the bar, grab some free food (it’s part of the entrance fee), and then cruise the huge facilities for your next catch.
For those happy to spend some cash, this is by far the easiest way to get laid in Berlin!
Facilities at Artemis Berlin
How about those facilities?
We’re not sure how to describe this place. Let’s try a 1970s hotel slash strip club fused with the modern day amenities of a spa. Surrounded by an ocean of sex and solicitation.
If you are cooling down from a previous ‘casual encounter’, you can enjoy the on-site pool. Or any one of three saunas.
If you need to sit back and unwind, Artemis has two private cinemas — although we imagine the types of movies being shown could make Emmanuelle blush.
Everything about the brothel is designed to trap you in a day-long ‘sextravaganza’. So, naturally, that includes good catering.
Artemis runs two separate buffets:
- Late Breakfast buffet, from 11am to 3pm.
- Evening buffet, from 6pm to 2am.
Drinks are provided free of charge, but if you wish to purchase alcohol, you’ll have to pay the rather steep price of €10 per beer.
That’s effectively one sixth of a sexual conquest, so be sure to drink responsibly!
The Rooms at FKK Artemis
If you’ve successfully approached a lady inside the brothel and have agreed to retreat to one of the venue’s many sex dens, what can you expect inside?
Well, that depends on what type of themed room you end up in.
As you will have noticed within about 7 seconds, the interior design at Artemis changes from room-to-room.
It’s unpredictable; an LSD attack on the senses.
Wallpaper marks some rooms as tents in a desert, whilst others are set on the ‘seaside’ complete with dreamy oceans and sand. Not real sand, of course! Many rooms are trippy mixes of red and gold with upholstery that we guess might have looked respectable to a blind man in the seventies.
These days, it looks as it is. A little tacky. Like the interior of an overdressed brothel on an industrial strip of Berlin.
The beds are firm and foamy with little give.
Most are covered in dark blue polyester sheets and made to look homely with a couple of token pillows and cushions.
The first thing you will notice before getting down to the act is paper towels. Hundreds of them. A seemingly never-ending supply of kitchen roll has been deposited in to each room to assist, we presume, with the clean-up act.
An appreciated gesture, no doubt, but if you’re here for the day… you’ll probably still want to make use of the expansive shower facilities downstairs.
There are also a few VIP suites that provide some extra comfort.
No Women Allowed… Except for Escorts and Staff
Note that if you are female, but not a cleaner, a staff member or an escort, you won’t be allowed to access Artemis Berlin.
While the PC-brigade might scream “Bloody murder!” at this restriction, it’s pretty easy to see why the rule is there.
As per the norm at Germany’s FKK clubs, women are expected to wear nothing. Some might settle for just a pair of heels. But barring the special Lingerie Day on Wednesdays, that’s about it.
Likewise, being a brothel, most of the women are going to face a steady slew of offers for hanky panky. Whether it be oral, full sex, or one of the many special ‘extras’ that men are by no means afraid to ask for having gotten through the preliminary routine of “Hello, what’s your name?”.
Artemis Berlin is a gentlemen’s playground, and if we ignore a few predictable complaints, I think most of us can agree that this is a good thing for both the men who go there and the women that work there.
Important Information: What You Need To Know
Club Artemis is open 361 days a year.
The only days it closes are:
- December 24th
- December 25th
- December 31st
- January 1st
The brothel is open from 11am to 5am all other days, except for December 26th and January 2nd when it opens at 6pm.
Where is Artemis Berlin?
The full address is: Halenseestraße 32-36, 10711 Berlin, Germany
Here’s a useful map via Google:
Looking for Artemis alternatives and other FKK clubs in Berlin?
Check out our guide to the best Sex Services in Berlin.
Have you been to FKK Artemis Berlin? What did you think of this mega-brothel?
Is it worthy of the reputation — or was it a let down compared to some of Germany’s other sauna clubs?
We’d love to hear your experiences and reviews; the good, the bad and the ugly.