How do you take your Brexit? Soft or hard? Did you want withdrawal or were you a remoaner?
According to Rule 34 of the Internet, there is porn on the World Wide Web for every conceivable topic and yes, that even includes Brexit. The issues surrounding the UK’s withdrawal from the European Union haven’t given many of us much to smile about – but this porn parody, produced by Television X, has got laughs aplenty and some pretty good hardcore sex scenes too.
In this Brexit porn review, we take a little look at the hardcore political porn parody that is Hard BreXXXit (2017), what you can expect and where you can watch it online. We’ll also run you through our pick of the 7 Best Political Porn Parodies.
Yikes!
The Cast of Hard BreXXXit
Hard BreXXXit is available to stream online, but what is this famous Brexit porno all about?
A European production, directed by Amory Pearl, the stars in this parody porn film are all from nations affected by the Brexit issues including Lithuanian Tina Kay, Brit Rebecca More and Welsh performer, Seth Strong.
As with other porn parody films, the puns start before the movie even starts and you can expect to find all the major culprits at the centre of the Brexit debacle portrayed on screen with tongue-in-cheek pseudonyms.
This is a throwback to the the classic tongue-in-cheek British porn of yesteryear.
As well as some bit parts, the main performers credited in this movie are:
- Rebecca More as Teaser Maynot of the Whorey Party
- Danno Jones as Jizza Cwoarbyn of the Laymore Party
- Ciprian as the Russian leader Gladimhere Putitin
- Alexis May as Knickerless Virgin, Tartan Tart and leader of the Scottish National Party.
- Lacey Starr as the German Chancellor Angular Merkin
- Busty Cookie as Pianne Faggot, Shadow Home Secretary
- Seth Strong and Tina Kay as Tronald and Mania Dump, President and First Lady of the United States of America.
See more: The 21 best UK porn stars in the world today.
Remember that this film was released in 2017 so predates Theresa May’s resignation and the entrance of Boris Johnson into the fray. Now there’s a sequel we’d pay to see…
Interesting to note though that David Cameron doesn’t get a mention even though it was his referendum that started this whole affair.
Brexit Porn: So… What’s The Plot?
If, like many Europeans, you got bored very quickly with the ins and outs of Brexit and how it unfolded over three and a half years to cost the UK alone an estimated £200 billion, then you’ll be pleased to know that this movie is far less convoluted.
In fact, the highlights of this hardcore parody are well worth watching and may even change your mind about how you feel on the subject of the UK’s withdrawal from the European Union.
We join the action with the UK’s Prime Minister Teaser Maynot as she tries to bring about the hard Brexit she so desperately wants to give the British public.
In the first scene we catch her using all of her feminine charms to try and persuade the leader of the opposition, Jizza Cwoarbyn, around to her way of thinking.
After beating out a deal and having her side of the argument heard, we then join our erstwhile not-Prime Minister as she joins the not-President at a press conference.
Keen to cement the ‘special relationship’ that the UK and USA shares, it’s not long before Teaser Maynot is giving Tronald Dump a blowjob through a hole in the lectern.
Things get even wilder and the president nails the PM to a backdrop of the Star Spangled Banner and the Union Jack.
Comrade Gladimhere Putitin doesn’t miss his opportunity to forge tight foreign relations and in another scene, he makes sure the First Lady doesn’t miss out on the action.
Our favourite scene though is the girl-on-girl sequence in which the tartan clad leader of the PNS (not SNP) indulges in some Sapphic delights by way of the not-German Chancellor, Angular Merkin.
It’s a funny scene yet not hard to imagine and features some hardcore strap-on action as the Scot takes the upper hand in proving her country’s allegiance to the EU.
In a final scene featuring Pianne Faggot as the not-Shadow Home Secretary, we see her canvassing for support and coming face to face with a British Nationalist who nails her in his pool-house
A stereotyped ‘English footie fan’ complete with a skinhead, wife-beater shirt, St George’s Cross and the classic Three Lions paraphernalia actually more than hints at the heart of this movie.
Wherever you stand/stood on Brexit as a political issue, it is actually what bonds us that is stronger than that which divides us and this parody magnifies this in glorious hardcore silliness.
At the end of the day, once you strip back the seriousness of Brexit (and other political issues) we are left with the some very basic facts.
As humans, our needs are simple; we want a roof over our head, not to be hungry and to enjoy the pleasures of life…..which includes sex.
Whether you are pro-remain, leave, Welsh, Scottish, Irish, English or Moldovan, the same is true for all of us and this cracking little piece of political parody gets to the heart of this.
So, whether you enjoy watching the leaders of two opposing parties or nations bump uglies together or salute the diversity of interracial or lesbian sex, Hard BreXXXit is a romp of a porno that goes down (oo-er) as a classic in our books.
Where to Watch Hard BreXXXit
If you want to catch all of the action from Hard BreXXXit then you can stream scenes, or the whole movie, online via Adult DVD Empire.
A DVD copy of the parody is also available to buy via most good online adult stores.
Other Brexit Porn
Believe it or not, Television X aren’t the only people who think of porn when they hear the word ‘Brexit’.
There are other adult themed artworks out there celebrating the almighty political shit storm that went down between the EU and the UK following the Referendum of June 2016.
The first adult piece to be inspired by the UK’s exit from the EU was the erotic novel Pounded by the Pound (2016). Written by Chuck Tingle, the book is subtitled, Turned Gay By The Socioeconomic Implications Of Britain Leaving The European Union.
A recent ‘Brexhibition’ by the porn-trait artist, Jeyda Heselton at the Hoxton 253 Art Space in London saw a collection of works parodying the key players in the Brexit issues all made in collage from pornographic magazines.
And, type Brexit into the top tube sites and you’ll also find a few dozen amateurs who have found some unique ways to mark this political landmark in an adult way.
From a Brexit Frustration Wank to public sex outside the Houses of Parliament featuring the Union Jack and the EU flag, there’s some creative answers to the subject of union in Europe.
Turns out that Brexit was more sexy than most of us thought!
7 Best Political Porn Parodies
The movie Hard BreXXXit isn’t the first political porn parody that Television X has been responsible for producing. It was the studio behind the 2012 film, The Iron Lady Garden.
Another spoof aimed at British Politics, Rebecca More also starred in this title as Aggie Snatcher.
But, what about other key political moments preserved on adult film?
We’ve selected our favourite titles from this genre of porn parodies.
The Donald (2016)
A spoof porn film parodying the current President of the United State, The Donald is a Hustler video starring Evan Stone in the title role.
The film was made in the run up to the presidential elections of 2016 and focuses on Trump finding a running mate by any means necessary. Expect the vetting process to get hardcore as the future not-president tries out his VEEPs.
The fact that the video was produced by Larry Flynt, hardly known for his support of Trump, makes this an even more hilarious swipe at the future President and was part of the huge media circus surrounding the Republican’s campaign trail at the time.
Co-stars include winner of the XHamster reality TV show (The Sex Factor), Donnie Rock, Britney Amber, Skylar Madison and Christie Stevens.
Measure X (2013)
Taking the issue of Measure B (also known as the County of Los Angeles Safer Sex In the Adult Film Industry Act), this parody is a spoof about the proposed condom laws that were a very real issue for the business at the time and are still a focus of much controversy in the United States.
The action features some inept ‘condom cops’, a sleazy politician who quickly realises that no-one wants to watch porn with condoms and a whole host of porn stars confused by the proposed legislation.
There’s a big cast here including some popular stars such as Tommy Pistol, Bonnie Rotten, Jayden James, Lola Foxx and Capri Cavanni.
Proceeds from the sales of the movie where donated to the funding to help fight the Measure B condom law. This is a parody with a bit of bite and an actual agenda.
Barrack’s Big Stimulus Package (2009)
The former President of the United States has often been referred to as one of the most sexy men alive; perhaps it’s the power or the fact that there isn’t much competition for sexy presidents but it’s no surprise that Obama makes an ideal porn parody lead.
In scenes you’ve never witnessed before, the Commander in Chief takes you on a tour behind the closed doors ofthe White House in this hardcore romp of a political parody.
Just like Hard BreXXXit, there is no depth to the agenda or backdrop to the action but the writers do throw in a few issues of the day including some economics and interesting policy ideas.
Don’t expect any revelations though, this is a simple but effective comedy porn-parody with main roles being filled by Guy De Silva, Mae Victoria, Aryanna Starr and Austin Taylor. Expect spoofs of Nancy Palosi and Michelle Obama from this AVN nominated title.
Who’s Nailin’ Palin? (2008)
Another Hustler video, this feature film has been credited with relaunching the career of its star, Lisa Ann who played the title role of Serra Paylin.
The cast also included Jada Fire, Evan Stone, Nina Hartley and Mike Horner.
Obviously parodying the protagonist’s involvement in the 2008 U.S. Presidential Election, other figures of note who are spoofed in the film include Condoleeza Rice, Hilary Clinton, Bill O’Reilly and husband Todd Palin.
The film won an AVN and XBiz award and was nominated for a further eight gongs. Lisa Ann has starred in several sequels to this original (Who’s Nailin’ Palin? 2, You’re Nailin’ Palin, Obama Is Nailin’ Palin, Letterman’s Nailin’ Palin and Hollywood’s Nailin’ Palin) and is perhaps most well known as being a Sarah Palin lookalike.
She even reprised the role in a music video for the American Rapper, Eminem in the song We Made You.
Mary Carey For Governor (2006)
Sometimes, just sometimes, the truth is stranger than fiction and a porn parody pretty much writes itself.
This happened in 2003 when pornstar and Playboy model Mary Carey signed up with Kick Ass Productions to launch a huge publicity stunt by running for governor. Placing 10th out of a field of 135 candidates, her platform for office included such promises as taxing breast implants, a ‘Porn for Pistols’ exchange program and making lap dances tax deductible.
The stunt won the 2004 AVN Award for Best Overall Marketing Campaign and she gained a lot of media attention in the mainstream as a result of her efforts.
This porn film is part parody, part mockumentary and part alternate-future as the writers imagine a world where she achieves her goal. Action takes place in the course of a day in the life of the candidate for office as she sucks and fucks her way to achieving the votes she needs.
It’s a romp of a parody that’s a must for any Mary Carey fans and features the talents of Reno D’Angelo, Lee Stone, Katie Morgan and Lexi Bardot.
The Schwantzanator (2005)
There are no prizes for guessing which thinly veiled former governor of California this film is parodying here and The Schwantzanator cashes in on as many stereotypes as it can on this all-action hero turned politician.
It’s a low-budget feature film that pretty much casts the title character of ‘The Gov’ as a man who just has sex with any woman who visits his office. There really is no more plot than that to speak of and Jay Huntingdon who plays the lead clearly has a lot of fun doing it.
Featured images via Adult DVD Empire/Wikipedia.
Interested in More of Europe's Hidden X-Rated Secrets?
We have published 27 country profiles, 64 local city guides, and hundreds of hours of research for your reading leisure. It's all 100% free. Get started with our quick links below...
